dynamite
i ran into myself today at the mirror. i was polite but still not quite understanding myself i was perplexed enough to guess at my concerns. i was upset because my latest lady had been mistreating me. she slept with my friend steve. we had it out and steve apologized. i will take her to dinner in the next few hours just to patch things up. i hate feeling guilty about love. it is not something i am comfortable with, i am comfortable with most things that involve hatred and rage, but love and kindness are shoes i do not fit into neatly. i am not ashamed to say that because i know how life is. i have been savagely beaten by both cripples and athletes and have realized that there is nothing in this world or any other that is of value. we are all playing the games that satisfy out primitive psychologies. most of us will never understand ourselves. those of us that understand ourselves are bitterly despondent over how much of life is spent suppressing the feelings that matter most. she was surprised and indignant at these realizations. so i ran away and politely bought a movie ticket at the local cineplex. i was entertained for about two hours and when the credits rolled i began to sob. an usher politely asked me to leave the theater because he was about to finish his shift and his favorite television show would be on before he could get home unless i take my personal issues elsewhere. i cried to myself the next day and called my father to ask for advice. he told me that there was nothing worth crying about. i mentioned the lack of proper health care for infants worldwide and he hung up the phone loudly.
