the next day
it seems that the ability to pontificate on the realities of life are only held in certain hours of the day. the other hours of the day are spent in conversation with those family members that carry themselves with a certain disregard for the privacy of their loved ones. i have lived with my children for several years now, they seem to get older each day and by the time they are fully grown, by the time they can really talk i am afraid i will be too far into dementia to appreciate it. it has been told to me that i have advanced parkinsons. it is a disease that is difficult to ignore. i appreciate the phone calls and letters i get from family members and college friends but i cannot help but feel that i am being pitied. it is widely known that i was diagnosed last fall but it is hardly known that i do not care about the onset of the disease. i consider myself insane. it is a part of my life and it always will be. as a kid i was accustomed to having conversations with god and other imaginary friends. however, i felt justified because kids have vivid imaginations. as time went on i would being to twitch suddenly at the mill. sometimes i would forget where i was but it was not until i went to see a doctor last fall when i discovered the reality of the disease. my superintendent fired me immediately. since then i spend my time building small houses out of cheap wood. model houses, they all break but i feel that when my kids get older they will fix the houses and make them nice. by that time i will be unbearably twitchy and completely catatonic. i have my wishes and my dreams just like you so help me god.
